It’s been two years since my
last blog. It’s time I find you again to give you all this new insight I’ve
gained to keep you elevated. So much has happened since my last post; a lot of good
and some very challenging things. In no specific order; I released another
music project with a female artist, recorded a another solo album, I’ve made
new friends, I’ve been accused of physical abuse, I’ve had a restraining order
filed against me, I’ve been separated and will soon be divorced, I’ve become an
absent father not by choice, I’ve experienced our family court and child
support systems, I’m in position to change my music career in a big way, I’ve
worked for a Fortune 500 company, I’ve experienced the great doctors at UNC
Health Chapel Hill for a BIG two part surgery, and lastly, informed I cannot
have any more children, due to man’s
knowledge.
But the one thing I can’t
deny that happened in these two years is love
saved my life. I coined love hero
because years ago I learned so much from someone I loved. At that time, I was
in love but I killed myself to show it and took things from her I had no reason
to but justified it as love. Then when I met my wife I really knew what the
term meant. She allowed me to learn love in a new way and most importantly
receive love. Sadly, this love with my wife is over but not her heroism. And my
love increased when I had my son.
In 2016 A Man Elevated blog has evolved and the focus is clear; it’s to
inform men [not ruling out women] about how to become better in character from
your emotions to your spirit. Yes, there is a sensitivity to your macho
character and I hope you know that’s okay. I will use my life to share what
I’ve learned day to day from the natural and spiritual side of things. This
will deal a lot with all relationships and some random things in between. Much
like my music, I will discuss things that we as men don’t openly talk about it,
share, or even give the slightest attention to.
I want to lead this young
generation and my generation to a better height of knowing what it means to be
^MAN ELEVATED.
So moving on…
Real talk…love is no joke.
Men and women are definitely two different people. Yes, we as men have to do
things that women will never understand, get, or even realize. Funny thing is,
women say the same about us; and it’s true. So what is it you can learn from LOVE and the person that said they love
you but things changed for the worse??? Well, a lot. We can point the finger
and talk about who was wrong, who did what, or all the other childish things to
make us feel better, or just to be more right.
But for real homie, that ain’t what this is about. Now don’t get it twisted
it’s not that I don’t get it or can’t relate to those angry feelings for so
many reasons…but in order to be the man…the man God wants you to be – not what
so many around you tell you to be without example – but what God wants and what
you know you want…it starts with love. And this doesn’t matter the state of
your current relationship with God and romantically.
Here’s a list of why LOVE IS THE HERO:
1.
Decision Making: Love
will encourage you to make the right choices even in the toughest moments.
2.
Vows of Love: A vow is a marriage to
everything and everyone you say you love.
3.
Grace of Love: At
least start to forgive and watch it grow into grace.
4.
Love for Your
Child/ren: If you have a child this should definitely change everything about
your relationships. Don’t let right or wrong be your focus but let truth reveal
the better choice.
Decision Making
I really thought I knew love
before marriage and before having my own child. Like most, I know love is
important. However, they say love can make you do crazy things too! Love is so
powerful. I didn’t know how powerful until I was married. I’ve heard of loving
someone with such a high regard but it becomes real when you actually get
married. Now this doesn’t take away from those of you who’ve never bene married
but I have to talk about what I know. When you take that leap to say I love
you, to be married or on the road to marriage, it’s a choice. That’s the first
decision by love for love.
Now those of you that have
children know it’s another type of love; but an increase. Being in a blended
family I genuinely love my step-children like they are my own. But I when I had
my own child there is no greater feeling. That love increased my process of how
I make decisions.
Overall, love, the right
love, God’s kind of love, that Mary J kind of love, should make you choose
wisely and decide carefully how you operate your life for you and your
child/ren. You can’t say you love someone and lie. You can’t say you love
someone and not give effort. You can’t say you love someone and not
communicate. You can’t say you love your child and deny them what they need.
You can’t say you love someone and deny them of you. You can’t say you love someone and love a part of them.
If you choose love, with good
intentions, let love choose what is right.
Vows of Love
The good book says it’s
better to break a promise than a vow. Again, I speak what I know; marriage. I’m
sure most people don’t realize this but even when you say I love you to a
significant other (married or not) or to your child or a friend … that is a
vow. It means you will do anything and everything because you love them. You
vow to them you will do all you can. Vows don’t mean anything until given the
chance to execute; until the most challenging thing comes up.
I can remember now the vows I
wrote and agreed too: vow to love you
through sickness and health, vow not to take you for granted, and vow to do
things you love. Now a few of those I actually wrote. Now there were times
in my short lived marriage I thought nothing about my vows; not because I
didn’t want to but it isn’t something you think about until it happens. I
remember times where I personally felt I was headed to taking my wife for
granted. It just hit me. I had to ask myself if I was. At that moment, all I could
hear in my head is what I vowed to do and not do. The love I had to be a man of
my word, to my vows, to God, and to my wife I found myself many times
apologizing and/or asking if she felt I was taking her for granted.
I remember when I was young
my mom kicked me out the house because I was lying and continued to not stop.
She warned me if I didn’t get it together she would kick me out. I continued
and she kicked me out. I remember crying on the stoop of my apartment building
not because I didn’t think she didn’t love me but because I didn’t stop lying
and I loved her too much to hurt her. I wanted my love for her to over power my
want for lying. I knew she loved me and I knew she didn’t really want to kick
me out but … that same love made her decide she had to do what was hard; she
had to make the right choice. Her loving me as a parent was a vow she had to do
whatever it took for me to have an understanding of what it meant to have
character. That moment taught me love wasn’t always about being sweet; it was
about the big picture; it was asking yourself what are you willing to do for
love even when it hurts. And since that young age I love telling the truth
though at times it’s so hard.
Vows are the key to a lasting
relationship on any level. Always with good intentions, vows are the guide to
what’s important. Love is a vow and you have to demand to keep it.
Grace of Love
Love will forgive. Forgiveness is a constant in life. People aren’t perfect so they will
do you wrong. Sometimes that is intentional and sometimes it’s not. And since
we’ve all been there when we’ve needed grace no matter the situation we have to
be able to give grace and forgiveness. This doesn’t mean to act stupidly and
not use wisdom but you must give grace and forgive. Think of it this way, if
you want grace and forgiveness for something you said or did no matter the
situation but you can’t give it to someone else - aren’t you being a hypocrite?
Now you can read this like that ain’t me but
we can all agree it’s hard to forgive at times because it is.
When it comes to this act of
love give what you want back.
Love for Your Child/ren
Like marriage, I know not
everyone reading this is married nor has children but know love has different
frequencies. I briefly spoke about this earlier but … loving a child has got to
be one of the highest frequencies there is. And what I’ve learned in loving my
child is I now do things at a higher level. This passion of love and
unconditional love has caused me to operate every aspect of my life more
effectively. I consider things I never would about myself or those close to me.
I seem to make better choices, I hold myself more accountable, or just knowing
what I do will affect him. I also love to dream more. Now hopefully I’m not the
only parent that feels this way???
The point I want to make here
is this type of love should change you like being educated. When you learn
something new you usually want to do it all the time then it becomes a routine.
Well, this type of love creates a new routine which with good intentions will
allow you to love yourself and others better than before.
-
These are just a few reasons
of why love is the hero. Love can save you from great loses within yourself and
with other people no matter your martial status or your age. No matter your
love situation whether just getting married or divorce, just committed to a new
relationship, or the tussle with an absent parent - love will show you what to
do if you allow it; love will show you how to make the best decision; Love is a
vow to everything pure and truthful; love is forgiveness, and a child’s love
can give you a new operation of self. Love can save you because love made you.
That’s what we all live for though we never talk about it and we take it for
granted. Yes, love can hurt like HELL; love can seem it’s never around and
appear to ruin your life; but love is the greatest joy like having children or
finding the right partner. But to perceive love as the hero you must know love
is always in you even when love hurts or you feel it’s gone away.
So salute to the hero…Love.
^MAN ELEVATED
